I’m a plus size woman, but I haven’t always been. When you’ve been on both sides of the fence like me, then you also get both sides of the criticisms. When I was the sickly skinny I was told how cute I was, but looking back at pictures I cringe because what I saw wasn’t beautiful to me- it was everyone else’s perception of it. And then when I put on over 100 pounds, people steer clear of me, as if I had the plague or something. They all ask, “oh my god, what happened to you?” which makes me feel terrible. I may not be a skinny Minnie now, but I’m ok with who I’ve become. I feel healthier now that I’ve got some meat on my bones. Society is wrong on their perception of beauty and I get sad thinking of all those impressionable young girls that will turn out having eating disorders or drug addictions just to feel accepted. In God’s eyes we are all the beauties of His heart. All I can do is hope that eventually something good will come out of this mess. I love me, and anyone else with meat on their bones. At least then I know they’re willing to have a greasy hamburger with me instead of half an apple, or whatever diet fad is hot right now. Bravo to all the curvy people out here who just don’t give a darn!

Amen! I’d say the majority of my female characters are curvy, although once in awhile one comes along that isn’t. I just picture them as they present themselves to me.

I like reading about real women, too, not models. Let’s face it, the majority of us aren’t. The ‘perfect’ hair color, skin color, body type, breast size, pants size, shoe size, etc… how realistic is that? And what may be ‘perfect’ for one person isn’t necessarily perfect for another. It’s our differences that make us interesting.

Sickly isn’t right, whether large or small. Healthy and happy is what matters, and being comfortable with who you are, no matter if you are tall, skinny, medium, short or round.

I don’t write my heroines thin. They always have some flesh on their skin.
Your post made me think of something – I’m of Indian origin, and so is my man. In India and the Indian mindset, a woman is not a woman if she doesn’t have love handles. Just take a look at Indian models. Long legs and all, but love handles and never a rib showing even when they lift their arms.
Healthy is what should matter. Don’t throw the shoe but I’m thin and cannot really put weight on. However I try not to get to a sack-of-bones state.

This was awesome and right on time. I right about women of all sizes. I agree with Ms. Cassidy…being comfortable with who you are not matter what…

Thanks for posting this!

Serenity

Great blog Savannah. We have a women’s magazine over here in England where there is always a page where lots of men are interviewed about a different topic each week. One week they discussed weight and the majority of the guys said that they liked women who weren’t stick thin. I think actually women put a lot of pressure on themselves when it comes to weight. We see pictures of Victoria Beckham and Cheryl Cole and the press tell us that this is what we need to aim for. I do worry about the impression that this gives young girls who admire these women.

I agree with Cassidy too. No one is “perfect”. A lot of the stuff we see is airbrushed and false. I applauded Miss. Spears when she showed her unairbrushed pictures to the world. Good for her. More celebs should do the same.

I’m with you Savannah!!

I try and write all of my characters with curves. I am not impressed with the sickly looking models that are forced down my throat in magazines and ads.

I am a healthy, curvy girl and proud of it!!
Gina

It bothers me when people assume just because you’re thin it’s “sickly” so I guess I can understand where people who aren’t thin might be bothered that their curves aren’t appreciated. I think both sides have obvious issues with their own body and need to put other people down to feel better about themselves. Just because a person isn’t heavy, curvy, fat…whatever you want to call it, doesn’t mean they’re not a “real” woman. We’re all different and we should embrace that difference.

As for the lights coming on thing, I think it just goes to show that people still want to be physcially attracted to their partner. It doesn’t mean that they think the entire world has to think their guy or girl is attractive, but they have to feel it. If that physical attraction isn’t there then that can impact the desire to have a romantic relationship with a person. I happen to think you have to have total attraction, physical, emotional, intellectual…because all of it comes together to connect you to the total package. I also think people have to be realistic enough to realize they won’t find the “perfect” total package.

This blog is exactly the honest truth!!! This reminds me of a article I read about Jessica Simpson. She was doing a photoshoot and once the photos were done etc….she was photoshopped to be skinner! I was like who care if she has curves! When someone is so skinny you can see they’re rib cage, shoulder bones that’s gross!

As for the reality TV show those men should be ashamed, if you knew u were going on a show not knowing what the person looks like, you don’t have a right to judge on they’re appearance! That’s why they call them blind dates! lol.

Great Blog Savannah!!

Tay, please forgive me if I made you or anything think that I think skinny people are sikly because I truly don’t. It is just how people assume that when you are big or curvy you eat too much..Which is not the case for a lot of people. When I say sickly I really mean the models, actors and people that they show on tv are so thin that it is just way too thin and not healthy.

With regards to the attraction thing I understand where you are coming from but the thing is these people felt so attracted to eachother without seeing what they look like and they felt good about how they felt, but what is sad is when the light’s did come on they started to pick on the little things that truly were not important.

I agree that there is no perfect person and I think as human beings we have to be more open and not so plastic when it comes to looks.

Cassidy it is great to see that you also try to write REAL female characters for your readers. Nobody is perfect but I think we just have to be open to all kinds of people and not have a set view of perfect. Perfect has become distorted.

Thank you Denise. A while back Dove did a commercial where they had a real woman do the shoot and they showed how the end photo looked like. In the commercial they also showed how much photo editing goes into making someone look so good and without blemishes and how they morph the body to make her appear way more skinny than she truly is.
I think every person on this earth is pertty and special no matter what they look like. We are all different and we should be embraced for it.

Zee, I have heard that before…If I’m not mistaken it is that way in a few coutries. Oh there is nothing wrong with being thin..That is why I said I am not hating. I still have some junk but I have lost weight and would like to drop a few more pounds so that I am at a level where I’m healthy and feel good. I agree healthy is the big thing in the end.
We are all built differently I just hope that our society starts to look at women and men differently and not stereotype the so called perfect look.
I think it will still be a while before media, fashion and everything else changes their views on how we all should look.

Serenity, you are welcome…I just wanted to speak up. I hated how we are all judged because we don’t look a certain way.
We are all amazing and what matters is we are healthy….We all deserve to be treated with respect and dignity no matter our size.

Megan, you are right…The messages it gives to young females is bad. It reminds me, I was at the aupermarket about 3 weeks ago and there was a little girl maybe 7 or 8 years old at the ice cream freezer and she took out a box and started to count calories. I was like wow. She said grandma this only has so and so calories and her grandma answered you don’t worry about that. The little girl answered her back, I don’t want to be fat. I kept thinking, child you are that young and counting calories. You are too young. You should not be worried about that especially since she was a little girl and she was skinny and perfectly normal for her age.

Yes we all do not look the same and we have flaws but todays society seems to magnify them way too much especially when it comes to weight.

Gina, you should be proud. We look the way we look and as along as we are healthy than that is important.

In case you are wondering what I look like. I have curves and I have lost weight and continue to work on that. Why? I want to feel good and be healthy. I want my body to be just right for my height and how I am built. I know I will mostl likely never be a size 0 but as long as I am healthy I am happy.
Thank you for all the comments you have left so far. I am amazed at the replies you have posted.

Alicia, we as a society have spent so much on looks and diets and trying to attain the perfect look so that we are accepted but what we don’t think about is who was made in chanrge to dictate what perfect is.

As a curvy girl I have been on diets and tried to fit myself into that perfect image but there came a point where I knew that I am built the way I am. I will not be what people want me to be. Then I started to change how I ate and excercise, eat healthy and avoid the things my body did not need. I conditioned myself to not miss the bad stuff. I still eat ice cream, burgers, chocolate and the bad stuff and I do not feel bad. I just moderate my diet and eat healthy.

I am curvy and it is just the way I am. I am pretty and just as amazing as the next person.

Right on, sister!

Writerholik, thank you so much…….

You didn’t offend me Savannah. I’m proud of my body and I make sure I maintain my weight and my health. I just find it interesting that some of the same people complaining about not having curvy women in stories are the same people who write men to have the perfect abs, perfet arms, perfect shoulders. I don’t see too many writers writing a man who is 100 pounds, or even 50 pounds overweight as their lead sexual interest. And I certianly don’t see some of those same writers complaining that it isn’t being done. I see blogs, book covers and web sites with pictures of “hot men” and none of them ever seem to defy that romance novel ideal. Yet if a woman is skinner than somebody else all of a sudden they must be sick. It’s just sad that women are that childish and selfish that they can’t allow other people to just feel good about themselves no matter the weight. It seems women are always trying to bring each other down.

Tay, you make a good point. However, romance novels are a fantasy.

The heroine is not the fantasy. Heroines must be written so that the reader (mostly women) can identify with her. As a reader I want to be the heroine. I want to fall in love with the hero. What is the average female weight in North America? Not size 0. So having a variety of curvy and skinny women caters all romance readers.

The hero is always the fantasy…the hot, well built, fantastic lover, man of my dreams. Women want to read and be immersed in a story where they are seduced and loved by the hot hero right along with the heroine.

At least that’s my take on why the hero’s are always hotties. Anyone else have any other ideas?

Tay, it is interesting how male and female characters are treated differently, as in life. Most of my characters have curves in my mind even if I don’t explicitly write it in the story. And since we’re on the subject, I like my man with a little extra too. Thin men and sweaty handshakes are the two things that will turn me away for sure.

Sweaty handshakes…yuck. I can understand why that would turn you off, Kissa. I hate handshakes all together, but sweaty would just be so wrong…

I’m not a double standard person. I know men who read romance novels too, (and some who write them better than some women) and while that might not be the expected norm, there are those who do. Perhaps they’d like to identify with the character too. But one thing I have noticed is that men, the ones I know or have been around anyway, aren’t the type to sit around and harp on another guy’s weight. I just never hear any of my guy friends saying, “oh he’s too thin, that’s just sick.” Or “Oh, he’s too fat, he should workout.” Maybe that’s why I hang around more men than women. They seem to have a better grasp on what’s important in life and it’s not a weight war.